Go pick something out that you're comfortable with both using as some sort of blunt weapon and carrying around for extended periods of time. I don't particularly care what it is, just as long as it holds up if you need to accomplish something with it. Meet me in the general outdoors section once you've got it, will you?
[...he has literally just turned you loose in a store full of fucking sporting goods and told you to find something you can kill a man with. have fun!]
But he'll do as he's told because he's just that kind of person. Let's see here... these are some pretty sturdy baseball bats, he can probably carry one of these around easily for extended periods of time. If necessary he can swing it too but uh. That. Totally won't be necessary, right? Right.
He'll come wandering over after a little while with a baseball bat in hand, trying not to look too worried about the whole thing.]
i mean, in the meantime cumore can be found fairly easily, given that he's super-tall with bright lavender hair. he seems to be checking out the- ...did you know they sell stun guns in sporting goods stores? because they do! you can buy a soccer ball and a goddamn taser in the same trip, how awesomely convenient is that.
...anyway, he's checking out the goddamn tactical stun guns when rossiu locates him, which is probably not contributing much to alleviating the thought that cumore may actually be mildly insane.]
[...Either it's going to be fine and we won't, it's not going to be fine and we will, or we're going to fight a train and be dead. Those aren't exactly great odds?]
That one should work well enough for you, unless I'm seriously underestimating something. They're not exactly rocket science, however, I'm sure you'll be fine.
[...God, you can practically hear the stupid heart at the end of that - anyway, come on, let's go elsewhere, try not to look like you're judging too hard.]
[We're going to go look at- ...Actually, you know what else you can find in sporting goods stores? Mace. Not like. Typical mace, either, more like mace for fucking bears. Bear mace. Animal repellent. Whatever you want to call it, it's here.]
Don't bother with anything non-flammable. We want this made with butane, if possible.
[...Now that you totally have enough shit to tase a man, set him on fire and then beat him to death.]
Again, hopefully we won't need any of it, but it's better to be prepared in the event that we do.
Outside of all this, I will insist that you bring three more things with you - something to write with, something to cut with, and something that can make fire. I don't care what you bring as long as they fulfill those purposes.
[He gets the point of all three of those, so he doesn't need to ask why. Still, this is an awful lot of stuff to bring down to what he was hoping would be a rather simple expedition... Man, he really wasn't prepared last time, apparently.]
Once again, thank you for accompanying me. I really do appreciate it.
[Let's go purchase all this stuff!! Hopefully no one side-eyes us too badly.]
[...We sort of look like we're about to commit a murder, don't we, um.
That said, do anything with enough confidence and no one will notice, and even if they do this person works retail and as such had their soul sucked out several weeks ago, it's probably fine.
Anyway, assuming that Rossiu does not have a problem purchasing all his damn stuff (and manages to do so without just like. slowly sinking into the floor?) we should be good.]
Do you want to just meet at the tunnels, then, whenever you're prepared?
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Go pick something out that you're comfortable with both using as some sort of blunt weapon and carrying around for extended periods of time. I don't particularly care what it is, just as long as it holds up if you need to accomplish something with it. Meet me in the general outdoors section once you've got it, will you?
[...he has literally just turned you loose in a store full of fucking sporting goods and told you to find something you can kill a man with. have fun!]
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But he'll do as he's told because he's just that kind of person. Let's see here... these are some pretty sturdy baseball bats, he can probably carry one of these around easily for extended periods of time. If necessary he can swing it too but uh. That. Totally won't be necessary, right? Right.
He'll come wandering over after a little while with a baseball bat in hand, trying not to look too worried about the whole thing.]
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i mean, in the meantime cumore can be found fairly easily, given that he's super-tall with bright lavender hair. he seems to be checking out the- ...did you know they sell stun guns in sporting goods stores? because they do! you can buy a soccer ball and a goddamn taser in the same trip, how awesomely convenient is that.
...anyway, he's checking out the goddamn tactical stun guns when rossiu locates him, which is probably not contributing much to alleviating the thought that cumore may actually be mildly insane.]
I take it you found something...?
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As for what Cumore's looking at, uh. Okay. This is. A thing. Wow. Rossiu has no idea what to do with his face and it's probably obvious.]
I did, yes. It seems like you've found something as well...?
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[...Are you okay, Rossiu, why are you looking at him like that.]
I don't see any harm in it, at any rate; just pick something you like, don't concern yourself with price.
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[...is he focusing on that instead of the tasers? you bet your ass he is.]
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[...were you expecting an argument]
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Right. Well then... um...
[Back to the tasers...]
Do you really think we'll need these?
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[...Either it's going to be fine and we won't, it's not going to be fine and we will, or we're going to fight a train and be dead. Those aren't exactly great odds?]
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I don't really know the first thing about these, so I have no idea which one would be good to get.
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Do you want me to just select one for you, then?
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That would be good, yes. Thank you.
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...is he still looking like he wants to die over there]
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That one should work well enough for you, unless I'm seriously underestimating something. They're not exactly rocket science, however, I'm sure you'll be fine.
[...God, you can practically hear the stupid heart at the end of that - anyway, come on, let's go elsewhere, try not to look like you're judging too hard.]
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[He's. He's trying. He always looks like he's judging though, that's just his face!!
But yes, where to next?]
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Don't bother with anything non-flammable. We want this made with butane, if possible.
[...He's 100% serious.]
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...I see.
[HE DOES NOT SEE AT ALL.]
Why do we want something flammable, exactly...?
[WHY ARE WE PREPARING FOR WAR]
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[The "why the fuck do you think" goes unsaid but heavily implied.]
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But you know what, okay. He's not going to question this further. Let's get our bear mace.]
Is that all we need?
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That should be acceptable, I think.
[...Now that you totally have enough shit to tase a man, set him on fire and then beat him to death.]
Again, hopefully we won't need any of it, but it's better to be prepared in the event that we do.
Outside of all this, I will insist that you bring three more things with you - something to write with, something to cut with, and something that can make fire. I don't care what you bring as long as they fulfill those purposes.
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[He gets the point of all three of those, so he doesn't need to ask why. Still, this is an awful lot of stuff to bring down to what he was hoping would be a rather simple expedition... Man, he really wasn't prepared last time, apparently.]
Once again, thank you for accompanying me. I really do appreciate it.
[Let's go purchase all this stuff!! Hopefully no one side-eyes us too badly.]
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That said, do anything with enough confidence and no one will notice, and even if they do this person works retail and as such had their soul sucked out several weeks ago, it's probably fine.
Anyway, assuming that Rossiu does not have a problem purchasing all his damn stuff (and manages to do so without just like. slowly sinking into the floor?) we should be good.]
Do you want to just meet at the tunnels, then, whenever you're prepared?
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